the perineum of the year

It's the week between christmas and new years, and west grove is cool and damp.

A few points:

+Marvel Zombies comes out today!

+Apparently Al Qaeda plans on attacking the U.S. through Mexico.

+I MISS ALL YOU GUYS!! Is our house empty at the moment??

-J Hunter

Merry Christmas!

I'm in sunny Kentucky right now, getting ready to bike around and get a gift for my brother who wasn't here yesterday. That's right, biking!

Kudos to Ben for getting his book published! So far, I have had nothing published, unless you consider the posts I've made at this website. Though I wouldn't consider these meandering musings to be "published."

I am reading "Silent Spring" right now, the book about the use of DDT and other pesticides and the way we were poisoning our environment. I can't even fathom it, but in the 1950s they used to use airplanes to douse millions of acres with insecticides. In order to kill the bull weevel they would just kill everything! Absurd!

I wonder how much DDT and other chlorinated hydrocarbons I have in my fat cells. That shit stays in you for a very long time, and I know that it hasn't been used in years, but how long does it take to break down? Styrofoam will last practically forever!

I embark on my cross-country trip in a week and a half, and so am just reading and rhyming and stealing.

By the way, if anyone offers to show you a video called "Two girls, one cup" absolutely do not watch it. I was duped into it by a friend one night, and regret it. It's like in the aristocrats, "The Joke", the terrible joke, the joke that everyone hates and is wretched. Well this is the incarnation of the joke in movie form.

And so with that holiday warning, I wish you all a Merry Christmas! Ho ho ho!

books and crooks

Dear House and Assorted Friends of the House,

I have noticed a lack of posting. This is partly my own fault, but I think we need to begin a vigorous increase in posting.

So, some topics recently on my mind:

1) Ron Paul hits double digits in Iowa. The Revolution?? Or something... Why can't the left have any momentum?

2) Philip Seymour Hoffman. I saw 'Charlie Wilson's War' and 'The Savages' and enjoyed both and was totally floored by PSH's performance. Laura Linney held her own in the Savages, which was just a very well made movie throughout (except a few I thought tacky visuals early, but there's no need to be petty). However, our man completely dominated (in a good way) CWW, even though the movie featured a supposedly all-star cast. I think this review from the Charlotte Observer pretty well sums things up:

"Hanks... and Roberts seem "actorish," putting on accents and mannerisms, but they're entertaining. Hoffman is something more, a scenery-devouring force of nature irresistible as a cyclone and irreverent as a stand-up comedian at a midnight show."

Yeah, he's that good.

3) The Bengals beat the Browns on Sunday, so the Steelers are now officially the AFC North Division Champions. However, league-leading rb Willy Parker was injured and is out for the season, so I have serious doubts about our potential to advance very far in the playoffs. Oh well, at least Hines Ward has now set every major Steelers receiving record.

4) As some of you know, I recently completed a writing project which I've been calling my crossword-book-thing. I need to think of a better name because it just got picked up for publication by little publisher called No Record Press. Anyways, I'm not sure the details of the release yet, but it's kind of a big deal for me.

Also, is anyone at our house right now? Actually, don't answer that. A lot of burglars read this and I don't want to tip them off.

See you all soon??

-Ben

Hello,

It's been a while since I've posted. I think this distance thing is difficult.

I think our house should make some new years resolutions. I for one am going to try to be a little more active in making the house a community-center and organizing movie nights and the like.

I am also in Arizona right now, so perhaps the heat is getting to me.

how are you guys?? i'm missing the valley.

-ben

A blog to check out!

I have my own blog, so if anyone is interested in my political rants and historical tedium, then check out frothingdingodog.blogspot.com, or google search "politically angry" and i'm like the third one down.

also, the house feels much more livable these days. thank god for fossil fuels!

Price

One More

American Graphitti: George Lucas

I was going along with this movie the whole time, looking at how amazing the era of crusing the strip was. So ideal and fun. Then I find out one character gets killed by a drunk driver, and another in Vietnam. Man. This was a good movie though, I never thought much of George Lucas as an actual director before this. Its cool that I an only two people removed from Ron Howard.

Movies and Temperature

It is cold in the Purple House. Our hearts are cold because we are missing two of our own. One is in Sunny California, under the redwoods (!), or is it Mexico by the Sea of Cortez?
The other is in Connecticut.

The other reasason it is cold is that we ran out of oil, once again. It is the coldest weekend of the year. Two Noreasters. Over a foot of icey snow, and we have to heat with our stove. This is OK I guess, but it sucks living in a drafty house built for when petrol was cheaper than water. 600-800 bucks a month for oil this year.

Water froze in the cupola last night! That is a first.


Movies I Have Watched:

Five Easy Pieces: Directed by Bob Rafelson
This movie made me realize that I take way too much shit from society. Really good, I like the west coast and Washington Island Scenery. This movie is good with Ben Segal and Andrea Love watching with you.

Cool Hand Luke: Stuart Rosenberg.
Are all Good movies about beautiful Men who will not conform? This one was. I like the sexy car wash scene. I miss Luke now.

One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest:Milos Forman
Yes, they are. The system will beat on all the Lukes and Mcmurphys in the world under the guise of good intentions. We should all be more Brash.
"Ah, Juicy Fruit"



Thats all for now.

Purple House 06 reunion in the works. Shhhh.

Than

Like Fargo but with more scrabble and less woodchippers

So last night we had a little gathering of friends here at the purple house, and Peter (a purple-house-prospie) and I were the last ones up and playing scrabble at 2 am. Someone knocked on the door and I answered - and theres this funny lookin guy who says he just flipped his car through the snow bank, across the sidewalk and into the bushes and he needs to make a phonecall. I lend him my cell and eventually this really pregnant police officer comes by and says "So how fast where you going there?" and the funny lookin guy says "like 35-40" and she says "oh well now this is a 25 zone here!"

IT WAS AWESOME.

And then we finished scrabble. Peter won 228 to 215.

An update on our friend, the mouse

I caught the mouse this morning at 6:45, pinning it between the Hungry Jack instant mashed potatoes and the box of Quinoa (whatever that is) on the top shelf in the pantry. He was very frightened, but I released him down the street back into the wild. Hopefully, he will burrow his way into happiness and out of our lives forever, though I don't know if he's going to try to return to any family he has still in the Purple House.

On another note, Tara and I have definitely found a place for next semester, so I suppose this will be one of my last blogs. It's been fun living in the Purple House, and I intend on visiting often, especially in light of the fact that I'm going to be living just up the street, near the Forbes Library.

Rockin' into the New Year on a Merry Christmas sleigh, have a Chappy Channukah (which, I suppose, is over now) and bountiful Kwanzaa and a repentful Ramadan.

Price

oh the weather outside is frightful...

... But we aren't allowed to use our fireplace

Today was a snow day!!!

I'm sitting on the couch with aliza eating tart and drinking delicious tea and being warm.

A few notes: The senate passed a very lousy version of the energy bill, Aliza finished her finals, and I want to wat a movie called 'My Science Project'. It involves time travel, highschool, and Denis Hopper and was made in 1985. Seems sweet.

And finally, the baseball world was schocked my the revelations of the Mitchell Report. Among the dozens of players cited in the report was one Roger Clemens. That's right, the Rocket used steroids. Which means that the most dominant pitcher and the most dominant hitter of our era were cheaters.

From the Sports and Leisure desk, this is Ben Segal saying Goodnight and Goodluck. We're all going to need it because the artic will be completely iceless during the summer of 2013 if we even make it past 12/21/2012.

sir i wanna buy these shoes

So, I have been gone a lot and will continue to be gone for another while. It's weird to be spending so much time traveling, but it's also refreshing.

I would like to point out an omission to the recently watched movies list: Cool Hand Luke

Also, did anyone return 1984 and ATPM? If not, I guess I owe late fees.

I am in a slow state of mind. Few words are emerging that are of any use. I ate a mushroom pizza and thought about John Cage because he loved mushrooms more than just about anything, probably including music.

Also, and finally, I heard a song called 'christmas shoes' or something like that on the radio. i am nominating it for worst song ever, bar none. It's the story of a dirty little poor boy who goes to the store on christmas eve to buy his mom a pair of shoes. And then we find out the the mom is dying and might even die that very night. Instead of being with her, the boy is buying her shoes. She's on her deathbed, never to rise again, and he's buying shoes that he can't even afford. At one point has to ask the man behind him in line for money so he can get his mom shoes so that she can "look beautiful if [she] meets Jesus tonight". Also it is horribly sung and poorly orchestrated. I highly encourage searching for it.

Best wishes and happy holidays,
Ben

Reviews

In honor of my favorite valley publication, I plan to review all movies and wines i experience.

1) HEAD- The monkees film. Amazing, though i would have liked more inter-personal characterization. I guess that is what the tv show is good for. Michael Nezmith has fallen from grace, but boy was he good in that movie. Frank Zappa!

2) Harvey Krumpet- Oh boy. Made me miss my family.

3) 1984- Pan. PASS. Made in 1984, kind of a gag. I am sure that it could have been made into a better movie, such an amazing book. The future is a boot stomping on a human face over and over forever.

4) All the Presidents Men- We need more Muckrakers. We need more Dustin Hoffmen. This movie made me HUNGRY FOR THE TRUTH.

5) American Gangster- This movie did not live up to itself. Good acting, great even, but not very memorable. Also, a quick look at the true story on Wikipedia was a let down. No one is that charming.

6) The Graduate- Yup. I would watch this again. How timely. Plastics, good call.

7) Monty Python and the Holy Grail- Jeesus. How did I ever like this?


Than.

The house is so quiet

Jim and I have a "tie" system, where if there is a tie on the doorknob, then that means one of us is entertaining a lady guest. Last night, Than was returning Jim's tie and just left it on the doorknob, thus inadvertently sexiling Jim.

If the house had been like Arrested Development, then the narrator would have said something like this: "What Jim didn't know was that Tara and Price were awake and fully clothed, thinking themselves also sexiled." Cue theme music.

But alas the house is so quiet. Than and Ben are on vacation, Kristin has left for a month or two, and Jim is asleep and Jesslyn may or may not be here.

Dubin is hanging out, though, in his usual dude-like attitude.

I think Mike Huckabee is going to sweep the Republican primaries, securing for himself the nomination. The reason? Chuck Norris. He has managed to garner the votes of elderly, rednecks who love guns, single issue evangelicals, and most importantly, cynical gen-Xers. How? Chuck Norris. That's right.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=MDUQW8LUMs8

Tara said it's simultaneously brilliant and horrifying. I agree.

let's play some Harmonukkah!

And come celebrate Channukah! Friday 6 till we die from Mannischewitz poisoning. We're making:

Latkes
Matzo Ball Soup
and other Jewish dishes as well!*

So schlepp on down, or would it kill you to come and visit every once in a while? If you're not going to visit, you could at least call. I know, I know, with long-distance rates what they are these days, oy! ...And other Jewish cliches as well!




*There are no other Jewish dishes.

C.I.A. Destroyed tapes of torture

From here

"The Central Intelligence Agency in 2005 destroyed at least two videotapes documenting the interrogation of two Al Qaeda operatives in the agency’s custody...They were destroyed in part because officers were concerned that tapes documenting controversial interrogation methods could expose agency officials to greater risk of legal jeopardy, several officials said."

This is just like "All The President's Men"! Anyone want to see if our neighbors know anything about this??

bread

Anybody want a loaf of bread?

We have a lot.

Not Even Stories:

1) Melissa and Gohst were friends with benefits. This means that in exchange for sex, they received health and dental insurance. So they kept having sex, because they did not live in country with universal healthcare.

2) Burns are generally worse than aches, but heart-ache is worse than heart-burn. Except if you have really bad acid-reflux syndrome.

3) The cat was out of the bag. Unfortunately, the bag was where the cat belonged. This was unfortunate for the cat. That he had escaped the bag was unfortunate for his owner. There was misfortune all around.

Three Things

I have three ideas in my head.

1) The afterlife in comic books. Wikipedia has extensive entries on almost every aspect of comic book universes, especially DC and Marvel comics. Wikipedia does not mention the format of the afterlife in comic books, despite the fact that heaven, hell, the devil, gods, God, angels, demons and ressurections are quite common. I believe the Justice League of America once went to Heaven to stop a war, and an actual Angel joined their ranks for some time. The Fantastic Four had to save their son Franklin from Hell, and traveled to heaven to get the soul of The Thing back from God. Now, I have noticed one thing in all these afterlife stories, and it is that Heaven and Hell are populated almost solely by superheroes and super villians. Rarely are normal humans seen.

I was thinking about this- the set up of these universes renders normal humans irrelevant, and the world and afterlife exist for characters which wear funny costumes and posses attributes that normal humans supposedly do not. I think this is how most people I associate with at Hampshire College and in Providence, view themselves, part of an elite pantheon with deep and meaningful characterization. Everyone is human though. A mere mortal.

2) A mouse evidently got into my beans. We have a problem. What can we do that is not too cruel? Any ideas? Both sticky traps and spring loaded traps are not certain to kill mice. What is a "have a heart" trap?


3) The cupola is not heated, so although I am warm with my electric blanket, my head is cold. So I think my sleep is not as deep as it normally would be. Because of this, NPR (which I leave on overnight) has been slinking into my dreams. This morning there was a story about a man in Iceland whom flies a plane to a Glacier to measure it every year. In my dream he asked me to accompany him, and I had to leave my DIV III show in order to do it. I was excited, but scared because we were flying in a dinky little one rotator plane. The Icelandic man flying the plane was my favorite Swedish actor Max von Sydow (The Knight in the Seventh Seal by Igmar Birgman). He was quite a guy, kind of a male Amelia Mary Earhart.

I think Amelia Earhart is amazing. I am sad she disappeared, I would have liked to see her speak, and maybe to have asked her on a date. Many things would have to be changed in reality for that to happen. I hope it does in my dreams tonight. I would take her out to get Pizza and play arcade games.


-Than

lessons

last night we learned a few important lessons:
1) Trader Joes throws away a lot of perfectly good bananas and key limes, and orzo stuffed pepper is probably gross no matter when you eat it.
2) Dunkin Donuts switches out its batch of donuts in the afternoon. I think this is because only 1 person works in the store over the night shift, so if they tried to throw away the old donuts then, the store would be unmanned and very easy to rob.
3) We need a membership to pleasant street video or we need to start taking advantage of hampshire media services for rentals.

also, i am tired today for no reason i can quite understand. i am just a very tired person. weird.

yours etc,
ben

ps: than, can you please lend me dubin's electric shaver? my chin has been too covered for too long.

patriots v ravens

listening to the game in the 4th quarter. both teams seem like they're trying to lose.

it's now 3rd and 14 at the baltimore 41. INCOMPLETE!!! the ravens, who i hate to root for, have held them.

this is huge. i'm rooting for the ravens (which is a first) but someone has to beat these NE jerks.

about 5 minutes to go, baltimore has the ball 1st and 10 on their own 28.

baltimore is 3rd and 2 now on the 36...shit they miss the marker. They'll have to punt with with about 3 and half minutes to go.

ravens at least have a staunch defense. as long as they can keep them out of the endzone.

patriots take over at their own 27. they've got 2 timeouts left, so there is plenty of time. Baltimore really needed one more first down.

here's the home stretch. first pass is incomplete- so far so good. patriots get a 1st down.

question: why isn't baltimore applying more pressure? Brady is much much worse under pressure. Prevent defense is not going to work with so much time left I don't think.

anyways, it's 2nd at 10 at the 50. and they just hit a 9 yd pass, so 3rd and 1, and brady sneaks to the 40 for a first.

incomplete on 1st down and it's now the 2 minute warning. patriots have very stupid radio commercials.

we're back. incomplete. 3rd and 10. They hit brady after giving some pressure. like i said. pass goes to faulk around the 30 near the first down, but shy by about a yard. STOPPED on 4th and 1, but baltimore had called a time out...so the patriots get to retry 4th and 1 on the 40. flag down, it's a false start on the pats, bringing it to 4th and 6. shit shit shit, brady runs for a 1st. 1:38 to go, 18 yards. this looks bleak for the home team. Faulk runs, gets to the 13. Incomplete pass, 3rd and 5, one minute remaining. Incomplete pass. 4th and 5. the patriot-loving announcers are criticizing Brady, which i think you can get excommunicated for in this part of the country. We're just under a minute to go, so if they only get a first, time becomes a factor.

INCOMPLETE...but a flag for Defensiveholding. BULLSHIT. 1st and goal at the 8, less than a minute. TD, but there are several flags. The announcer mis-called the play, couldn't see it and called it wrong. The flags are on the ravens and are assessed on the kickoff.

the announcers, refs, and ravens are all awful. what nonsense, getting 2 extra tries on 4th down.

44 seconds remaining. Baltimore is going to have terrible field position because of so many flags (3 now) for penalties to be assessed on the kickoff (35 yards). 27-24 now. the patriots are evil and i hate them.

They're going to get the ball on the 20, so they have 44 seconds to go and 1 time out. They need to get to at least the 40 for a field goal. 1st down to the 33. time is ticking, pass is complete to the 42. 14 seconds left only and they call their last time out. This is dismal clock management for only 2 plays. incomplete pass. 8 seconds to go.

they make a pass to the 2 yardline and the clock expires. terrible clock management. terrible coaching allowing the patriots to take too much time on their scoring drive and then operating with no sense of urgency on the ensuing drive. Baltimore is a bad team because they have decent players but a very very overrated coach in Brian Billick.

anyways, i'm disgustedly signing off.

Dear Reader

Dear Reader,

We in the Purple House would like to discuss the topics that are burning holes in your mind and/or pocket. If do not live in this house and make a suggestion, we will discuss it. We will probably research it and debate it and the results of our investigations into the topics will be posted here. Leave suggestions for topics as comments on this post. We'd be much obliged.

Also, Dubin rolled in poop.

Debate, etc.

Liveblog:

Currently talking to Price about a secret!

Yesterday we had a very nice little show. Thank you Brian and Peter. Brian was great as expected. I didn't know what to expect from Peter but I thought he was pretty fantastic. I thoroughly enjoyed both sets.

Today is slow and lazy. We watched the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly. it was good, except the ugly wasn't really that ugly, which is too bad.

It's cold out.

***

I would like to add a thought about the gun control debate: If we think about soveriegnty, in a democracy, the sovereign power is supposed to rest in the people through their elected representatives. Unfortunately, the truth is that soveriegnty actually rests in the hands of the police, who (in how they choose to enforce or not enforce certain laws) actually are the sovereign force in our society. In any given situation, the non-elected and essentially autonomous organization of the police creates and enforces the law. So, in theory, the reason to allow citizens to have guns is in order to create a genuinely democratic form of sovereignty. As a counterbalance to the force of the police, one could argue, we would be better served if we had an armed population.

However, in terms of the argument earlier advanced on these pages, Price is absolutely correct. The 2nd amendment is absurd as a protection against any kind of army and the last thing this country needs is an uptick in militias. The right to bear arms is one of the remaining relics of a liberalism (in the technical sense) doubting itself. In so far as this doubt is all the more important in the age of late capitalism, it's sad to see that the internalized self-doubt guaranteed by the amendment might be lost.

And yet, even as a safeguard against liberalism, the 2nd amendment is outdated. Guns are defended not out of a distrust of the goverment but out of a distrust of the poor-- (self-defense against thieves and like). Right now we must advance a serious structural critique of the system that produces radical inequality rather than hold onto antiquated and defensive measures.

***

Also, in the world of sports, Hawaii is the only team in major college football that is undefeated and yet they are not going to have an opportunity to play for the national championship. Instead, a 2-loss team (probably LSU) is going to play a thoroughly mediocre Ohio State team. Talk about injustice.

-ben

absinthe hangover

Life is difficult, especially when you're hung over from absinthe.

Russ hasn't vomited bile in a long time, apparently. Huzzah!

Tuna/salmon casserole in the oven is taking far too long, in my opinion. Potatoes are difficult to cook through in a huge dish.

Brian's show was a success, a nice small group came and enjoyed. So kudos all around.

McCain got a major NH endorsement by a newspaper, which apparently is influential. Maybe he'll get the nomination, which I think would be better than Huckabee.

Brian is leaving now, hugs and promises all around. Have a good drive!

A belated response to Jim

I would like to point out that we are the only western nation, and indeed one of the few nations in the world, with such lax gun restrictions. Why is this? The government at the time of the founding of our country was afraid of a tyrannical central government infringing on people's individual rights, like England did to the American colonies. The founding fathers, and Jefferson in particular, did not have faith in the ability of a government to remain uncorrupted. Thus, a way to keep the federal government in check was to guarantee that if it were to ever stamp on a state or states' rights, they would have a well-armed militia with which to revolt. This would more or less frighten the federal government into respecting the rights of smaller political entities, right down to the individual.

An argument could perhaps be made that what would be good for this country is indeed a well-armed state militia that would lead an armed revolt in response to the Patriot Act or wire-tapping or the needless military interventions, in both Iraq and past countries such as Vietnam. But the reality is that state militias are a thing of the past, and have been since the Civil War. At this point, the second ammendment is interpreted to protect and INDIVIDUAL'S right to bear arms, but one which is, I believe, inaccurate to the original intent of the framers'.

What Jim says about individuals owning arms as a line of defense against some sort of hypothetical invading army is, too, inaccurate. If an army was organized and armed enough to overcome our bloated military and national guard, then I highly doubt that scattered households would actually pose much difficulty.

In the end, loose gun laws mean there are more guns on the streets and easily accessible by criminals and children. The fact that America steadfastly hangs onto this antiquated "inalienable right" is stupid, and we should overturn the second ammendment immediately. The statistics support my position, since America's gun death totals far exceed other industrialized nations', even per capita. Get them off the streets and out of the lawbooks.